按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
dumb church organ。 Her son thought so （it was an old thought with him）；
while he took his seat beside it。
She opened a drawer or two； looked over some business papers； and put
them back again。 Her severe face had no thread of relaxation in it； by
which any explorer could have been guided to the gloomy labyrinth of her
thoughts。
'Shall I speak of our affairs； mother？ Are you inclined to enter upon
business？'
'Am I inclined； Arthur？ Rather； are you？ Your father has been dead a
year and more。 I have been at your disposal； and waiting your pleasure；
ever since。'
'There was much to arrange before I could leave； and when I did leave； I
travelled a little for rest and relief。'
She turned her face towards him； as not having heard or understood his
last words。 'For rest and relief。'
She glanced round the sombre room； and appeared from the motion of her
lips to repeat the words to herself； as calling it to witness how little
of either it afforded her。
'Besides； mother； you being sole executrix； and having the direction and
management of the estate； there remained little business； or I might say
none； that I could transact； until you had had time to arrange matters
to your satisfaction。'
'The accounts are made out；' she returned。 'I have them here。 The
vouchers have all been examined and passed。 You can inspect them when
you like； Arthur； now； if you please。'
'It is quite enough； mother； to know that the business is pleted。
Shall I proceed then？'
'Why not？' she said； in her frozen way。
'Mother； our House has done less and less for some years past； and our
dealings have been progressively on the decline。 We have never shown
much confidence； or invited much； we have attached no people to us； the
track we have kept is not the track of the time； and we have been
left far behind。 I need not dwell on this to you； mother。 You know it
necessarily。'
'I know what you mean；' she answered； in a qualified tone。 'Even this
old house in which we speak；' pursued her son； 'is an instance of what I
say。 In my father's earlier time； and in his uncle's time before him；
it was a place of business……really a place of business； and business
resort。 Now； it is a mere anomaly and incongruity here； out of date and
out of purpose。 All our consignments have long been made to Rovinghams'
the mission…merchants； and although； as a check upon them； and in
the stewardship of my father's resources； your judgment and watchfulness
have been actively exerted； still those qualities would have influenced
my father's fortunes equally； if you had lived in any private dwelling：
would they not？'
'Do you consider；' she returned； without answering his question； 'that
a house serves no purpose； Arthur； in sheltering your infirm and
afflicted……justly infirm and righteously afflicted……mother？'
'I was speaking only of business purposes。'
'With what object？'
'I am ing to it。'
'I foresee；' she returned； fixing her eyes upon him； 'what it is。
But the Lord forbid that I should repine under any visitation。 In my
sinfulness I merit bitter disappointment； and I accept it。'
'Mother； I grieve to hear you speak like this； though I have had my
apprehensions that you would……'
'You knew I would。 You knew ME；' she interrupted。
Her son paused for a moment。 He had struck fire out of her； and was
surprised。
'Well！' she said； relapsing into stone。 'Go on。 Let me hear。'
'You have anticipated； mother； that I decide for my part； to abandon
the business。 I have done with it。 I will not take upon myself to advise
you； you will continue it； I see。 If I had any influence with you； I
would simply use it to soften your judgment of me in causing you this
disappointment： to represent to you that I have lived the half of a long
term of life； and have never before set my own will against yours。 I
cannot say that I have been able to conform myself； in heart and spirit；
to your rules； I cannot say that I believe my forty years have been
profitable or pleasant to myself； or any one； but I have habitually
submitted； and I only ask you to remember it。'
Woe to the suppliant； if such a one there were or ever had been； who had
any concession to look for in the inexorable face at the cabi。 Woe to
the defaulter whose appeal lay to the tribunal where those severe eyes
presided。 Great need had the rigid woman of her mystical religion；
veiled in gloom and darkness； with lightnings of cursing； vengeance； and
destruction； flashing through the sable clouds。 Forgive us our debts as
we forgive our debtors； was a prayer too poor in spirit for her。 Smite
Thou my debtors； Lord； wither them； crush them； do Thou as I would do；
and Thou shalt have my worship： this was the impious tower of stone she
built up to scale Heaven。
'Have you finished； Arthur； or have you anything more to say to me？
I think there can be nothing else。 You have been short； but full of
matter！'
'Mother； I have yet something more to say。 It has been upon my mind；
night and day； this long time。 It is far more difficult to say than what
I have said。 That concerned myself； this concerns us all。'
'Us all！ Who are us all？'
'Yourself； myself； my dead father。'
She took her hands from the desk； folded them in her lap； and sat
looking towards the fire； with the imperability of an old Egyptian
sculpture。
'You knew my father infinitely better than I ever knew him； and his
reserve with me yielded to you。 You were much the stronger； mother； and
directed him。 As a child； I knew it as well as I know it now。 I knew
that your ascendancy over him was the cause of his going to China to
take care of the business there； while you took care of it here （though
I do not even now know whether these were really terms of separation
that you agreed upon）； and that it was your will that I should remain
with you until I was twenty； and then go to him as I did。 You will not
be offended by my recalling this； after twenty years？'
'I am waiting to hear why you recall it。'
He lowered his voice； and said； with manifest reluctance； and against
his will：
'I want to ask you； mother； whether it ever occurred to you to
suspect……'
At the word Suspect； she turned her eyes momentarily upon her son； with
a dark frown。 She then suffered them to seek the fire； as before； but
with the frown fixed above them； as if the sculptor of old Egypt had
indented it in the hard granite face； to frown for ages。
'……that he had any secret remembrance which caused him trouble of
mind……remorse？ Whether you ever observed anything in his conduct
suggesting that； or ever spoke to him upon it； or ever heard him hint at
such a thing？'
'I do not understand what kind of secret remembrance you mean to infer
that your father was a prey to；' she returned； after a silence。 'You
speak so mysteriously。'
'Is it possible； mother；' her son leaned forward to be the nearer to her
while he whispered it； and laid his hand nervously upon her desk； 'is
it possible； mother； that he had unhappily wronged any one； and made no
reparation？'
Looking at him wrathfully； she bent herself back in her chair to keep
him further off； but gave him no reply。
'I am deeply sensible； mother； that if this thought has never at any
time flashed upon you； it must seem cruel and unnatural in me； even in
this confidence； to breathe it。 But I cannot shake it off。
Time and change （I have tried both before breaking silence） do nothing
to wear it out。 Remember； I was with my father。 Remember； I saw his face
when he gave the watch into my keeping； and struggled to express that he
sent it as a token you would understand； to you。 Remember； I saw him at
the last with the pencil in his failing hand； trying to write some word
for you to read； but to which he could give no shape。 The more
remote and cruel this vague suspicion that I have； the stronger the
circumstances that could give it any semblance of probability to me。
For Heaven's sake； let us examine sacredly whether there is any wrong
entrusted to us to set right。 No one can help towards it； mother； but
you。'
Still so recoiling in her chair that her overpoised weight moved it；
from time to time； a little on its wheels； and g