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on Jack's shirt。 Jack could get him to eat after she had given up in disgust;
even when Danny was teething and it gave him visible pain to chew。 When Danny
had a stomachache; she would rock him for an hour before he began to quiet; Jack
had only to pick him up; walk twice around the room with him; and Danny would be
asleep on lack's shoulder; his thumb securely corked in his mouth。
He hadn't minded changing diapers; even those he called the special
deliveries。 He sat with Danny for hours on end; bouncing him on his lap; playing
finger games with him; making faces at him while Danny poked at his nose and
then collapsed with the giggles。 He made formulas and administered them
faultlessly; getting up every last burp afterward。 He would take Danny with him
in the car to get the paper or a bottle of milk or nails at the hardware store
even when their son was still an infant。 He had taken Danny to a Stovington…
Keene soccer match when Danny was only six months old; and Danny had sat
motionlessly on his father's lap through the whole game; wrapped in a blanket; a
small Stovington pennant clutched in one chubby fist。
He loved his mother but he was his father's boy。
And hadn't she felt; time and time again; her son's wordless opposition to the
whole idea of divorce? She would be thinking about it in the kitchen; turning it
over in her mind as she turned the potatoes for supper over in her hands for the
peeler's blade。 And she would turn around to see him sitting cross…legged in a
kitchen chair; looking at her with eyes that seemed both frightened and
accusatory。 Walking with him in the park; he would suddenly seize both her hands
and say — almost demand: 〃Do you love me? Do you love daddy?〃 And; confused; she
would nod or say; 〃Of course I do; honey。〃 Then he would run to the duck pond;
sending them squawking and scared to the other end; flapping their wings in a
panic before the small ferocity of his charge; leaving her to stare after him
and wonder。
There were even times when it seemed that her determination to at least
discuss the matter with Jack dissolved; not out of her own weakness; but under
the determination of her son's will。
I don't believe such things。
But in sleep she did believe them; and in sleep; with her husband's seed still
drying on her thighs; she felt that the three of them had been permanently
welded together — that if their three/oneness was to be destroyed; it would not
be destroyed by any of them but from outside。
Most of what she believed centered around her love for Jack。 She had never
stopped loving him; except maybe for that dark period immediately following
Danny's 〃accident。〃 And she loved her son。 Most of all she loved them together;
walking or riding or only sitting; Jack's large head and Danny's small one
poised alertly over the fans of old maid hands; sharing a bottle of Coke;
looking at the funnies。 She loved having them with her; and she hoped to dear
God that this hotel caretaking job Al had gotten for Jack would be the beginning
of good times again。
And the wind gonna rise up; baby;
and blow my blues away 。。。
Soft and sweet and mellow; the song came back and lingered; following her down
into a deeper sleep where thought ceased and the faces that came in dreams went
unremembered。
》
IN ANOTHER BEDROOM
Danny awoke with the booming still loud in his ears; and the drunk; savagely
pettish voice crying hoarsely: e out here and take your medicine! I'll find
you! I'll find youl
But now the booming was only his racing heart; and the only voice in the night
was the faraway sound of a police siren。
He lay in bed motionlessly; looking up at the wind…stirred shadows of the
leaves on his bedroom ceiling。 They twined sinuously together; making shapes
like the vines and creepers in a jungle; like patterns woven into the nap of a
thick carpet。 He was clad in Doctor Denton pajamas; but between the pajama suit
and his skin he had grown a more closely fitting singlet of perspiration。
〃Tony?〃 he whispered。 〃You there?〃
No answer。
He slipped out of bed and padded silently across to the window and looked out
on Arapahoe Street; now still and silent。 It was two in the morning。 There was
nothing out there but empty sidewalks drifted with fallen leaves; parked cars;
and the long…necked streetlight on the corner across from the Cliff Brice gas
station。 With its hooded top and motionless stance; the streetlight looked like
a monster in a space show。
He looked up the street both ways; straining his eyes for Tony's slight;
beckoning form; but there was no one there。
The wind sighed through the trees; and the fallen leaves rattled up the
deserted walks and around the hubcaps of parked cars。 It was a faint and
sorrowful sound; and the boy thought that he might be the only one in Boulder
awake enough to hear it。 The only human being; at least。 There was no way of
knowing what else might be out in the night; slinking hungrily through the
shadows; watching and scenting the breeze。
I'll find you! I'll find you!
〃Tony?〃 he whispered again; but without much hope。
Only the wind spoke back; gusting more strongly this time; scattering leaves
across the sloping roof below his window。 Some of them slipped into the
raingutter and came to rest there like tired dancers。
Danny 。。。 Danneee 。。。
He started at the sound of that familiar voice and craned out the window; his
small hands on the sill。 With the sound of Tony's voice the whole night seemed
to have e silently and secretly alive; whispering even when the wind quieted
again and the leaves were still and the shadows had stopped moving。 He thought
he saw a darker shadow standing by the bus stop a block down; but it was hard to
tell if it was a real thing or an eye…trick。
Don't go; Danny 。 。
Then the wind gusted again; making him squint; and the shadow by the bus stop
was gone 。。。 if it had ever been there at all。 He stood by his window for
(a minute? an hour?)
some time longer; but there was no more。 At last he crept back into his bed
and pulled the blankets up and watched the shadows thrown by the alien
streetlight turn into a sinuous jungle filled with flesh…eating plants that
wanted only to slip around him; squeeze the life out of him; and drag him down
into a blackness where one sinister word flashed in red:
REDRUM。
P A R T T W O
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Closing Day
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
》
A VIEW OF THE OVERLOOK
Mommy was worried。
She was afraid the bug wouldn't make it up and down all these mountains and
that they would get stranded by the side of the road where somebody might e
ripping along and hit them。 Danny himself was more sanguine; if Daddy thought
the bug would make this one last trip; then probably it would。
〃We're just about there;〃 Jack said。
Wendy brushed her hair back from her temples。 〃Thank God。〃
She was sitting in the right…hand bucket; a Victoria Holt paperback open but
face down in her lap。 She was wearing her blue dress; the one Danny thought was
her prettiest。 It had a sailor collar and made her look very young; like a girl
just getting ready to graduate from high school。 Daddy kept putting his hand
high up on her leg and she kept laughing and brushing it off; saying Get away;
fly。
Danny was impressed with the mountains。 One day Daddy had taken them up in the
ones near Boulder; the ones they called the Flatirons; but these were much
bigger; and on the tallest of them you could see a fine dusting of snow; which
Daddy said was often there year…round。
And they were actually in the mountains; no goofing around。 Sheer rock faces
rose all around them; so high you could barely see their tops even by craning
your neck out the window。 When they left Boulder;