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〃Have you seen Jacob today。〃 The question burst from me almost before he'd
finished speaking。
I looked at Quil eagerly； waiting for his answer。 He stared out the windshield
for a second before he
spoke。 〃From a distance；〃 he finally said。
〃A distance？〃 I echoed。
〃I tried to follow them—he was with Embry。〃 His voice was low； hard to hear
over the engine。 I leaned
closer。 〃I know they saw me。 But they turned and just disappeared into the
trees。 I don't think they were
alone—I think Sam and his crew might have been with them。
〃I've been stumbling around in the forest for an hour； yelling for them。 I
just barely found the road again
when you drove up。〃
〃So Sam did get to him。〃 The words were a little distorted—my teeth were
gritted together。
Quil stared at me。 〃You know about that。？〃
I nodded。 〃Jake told me before。〃
〃Before；〃 Quil repeated； and sighed。
〃Jacob's just as bad as the others now？〃
〃Never leaves Sam's side。〃 Quil turned his head and spit out the open window。
〃And before that—did he avoid everyone？ Was he acting upset？〃
His voice was low and rough。 〃Not for as long as the others。 Maybe one day。
Then Sam caught up with
him。〃
〃What do you think it is？ Drugs or something？〃
〃I can't see Jacob or Embry getting into anything like that but what do I
know？ What else could it be？
And why aren't the old people worried？〃 He shook his head； and the fear showed
in his eyes now。
〃Jacob didn't want to be a part of this cult。 I don't understand what could
change him。〃 He stared at
me； his face frightened。 〃I don't want to be next。〃
My eyes mirrored his fear。 That was the second time I'd heard it described as
a cult。 I shivered。 〃Are
your parents any help？〃
He grimaced。 〃Right。 My grandfather's on the council with Jacob's dad。 Sam
Uley is the best thing that
ever happened to this place； as far as he's concerned。〃
We stared at each other for a prolonged moment。 We were in La Push now； and my
truck was barely
crawling along the empty road。 I could see the village's only store not too
far ahead。
〃I'll get out now；〃 Quil said。 〃My house is right over there。〃 He gestured
toward the small wooden
rectangle behind the store。 I pulled over to the shoulder； and he jumped out。
〃I'm going to go wait for Jacob；〃 I told him in a hard voice。
〃Good luck。〃 He slammed the door and shuffled forward along the road； his head
bent forward； his
shoulders slumped。
Quil's face haunted me as I made a wide U…turn and headed back toward the
Blacks'。 He was terrified
of being next。 What was happening here？
I stopped in front of Jacob's house； killing the motor and rolling down the
windows。 It was stuffy today；
no breeze。 I put my feet up on the dashboard and settled in to wait。
A movement flashed in my peripheral vision—I turned and spotted Billy looking
at me through the front
window with a confused expression。 I waved once and smiled a tight smile； but
stayed where I was。
His eyes narrowed； he let the curtain fall across the glass。
I was prepared to stay as long as it took； but I wished I had something to do。
I dug up a pen out of the
bottom of my backpack； and an old test。 I started to doodle on the back of the
scrap。
I'd only had time to scrawl one row of diamonds when there was a sharp tap
against my door。
I jumped； looking up； expecting Billy。
〃What are you doing here； Bella。'〃 Jacob growled。
I stared at him in blank astonishment。
Jacob had changed radically in the last weeks since I'd seen him。 The first
thing I noticed was his
hair—his beautiful hair was all gone； cropped quite short； covering his head
with an inky gloss like black
satin。 The planes of his face seemed to have hardened subtly； tightened
aged。 His neck and his
shoulders were different； too； thicker somehow。 His hands； where they gripped
the window frame；
looked enormous； with the tendons and veins more prominent under the russet
skin。 But the physical
changes were insignificant。
It was his expression that made him almost pletely unrecognizable。 The
open； friendly smile was gone
like the hair； the warmth in his dark eyes altered to a brooding resentment
that was instantly disturbing。
There was a darkness in Jacob now。 Like my sun had imploded。
〃Jacob？〃 I whispered。
He just stared at me； his eyes tense and angry。
I realized we weren't alone。 Behind him stood four others； all tall and
russet…skinned； black hair chopped
short just like Jacob's。 They could have been brothers—I couldn't even pick
Embry out of the group。
The resemblance was only intensified by the strikingly similar hostility in
every pair of eyes。
Every pair but one。 The oldest by several years； Sam stood in the very back；
his face serene and sure。 I
had to swallow back the bile that rose in my throat。 I wanted to take a swing
at him。 No； I wanted to do
more than that。 More than anything； I wanted to be fierce and deadly； someone
no one would dare mess
with。 Someone who would scare Sam Uley silly。
I wanted to be a vampire。
The violent desire caught me off guard and knocked the wind out of me。 It was
the most forbidden of all
wishes—even when I only wished it for a malicious reason like this； to gain
an advantage over an
enemy—because it was the most painful。 That future was lost to me forever；
had never really been within
my grasp。 I scrambled to gain control of myself while the hole in my chest
ached hollowly。
〃What do you want？〃 Jacob demanded； his expression growing more resentful as
he watched the play of
emotion across my face。
〃I want to talk to you；〃 I said in a weak voice。 I tried to focus； but I was
still reeling against the escape of
my taboo dream。
〃Go ahead；〃 he hissed through his teeth。 His glare was vicious。 I'd never seen
him look at anyone like
that； least of all me。 It hurt with a surprising intensity—a physical pain； a
stabbing in my head。
〃Alone！〃 I hissed； and my voice was stronger。
He looked behind him； and I knew where his eyes would go。 Every one of them
was turned for Sam's
reaction。
Sam nodded once； his face unperturbed。 He made a brief ment in an
unfamiliar； liquid language—I
could only be positive that it wasn't French or Spanish； but I guessed that it
was Quileute。 He turned and
walked into Jacob's house。 The others； Paul； Jared； and Embry； I assumed；
followed him in。
〃Okay。〃 Jacob seemed a bit less furious when the others were gone。 His face
was a little calmer； but also
more hopeless。 His mouth seemed permanently pulled down at the corners。
I took a deep breath。 〃You know what I want to know。〃
He didn't answer。 He just stared at me bitterly。
I stared back and the silence stretched on。 The pain in his face unnerved me。
I felt a lump beginning to
build in my throat。
〃Can we walk？〃 I asked while I could still speak。
He didn't respond in any way； his face didn't change。
I got out of the car； feeling unseen eyes behind the windows on me； and
started walking toward the trees
to the north。 My feet squished in the damp grass and mud beside the road； and；
as that was the only
sound； at first I thought he wasn't following me。 But when I glanced around；
he was right beside me； his
feet having somehow found a less noisy path than mine。
I felt better in the fringe of trees； where Sam couldn't possibly be watching。
As we walked； I struggled for
the right thing to say； but nothing came。 I just got more and more angry that
Jacob had gotten sucked
in that Billy had allowed this that Sam was able to stand there so assured
and calm
Jacob suddenly picked up the pace； striding ahead of me easily with his long
legs； and then swinging
around to face me； planting himself in my path so I would have to stop too。
I was distracted by the overt grace of his movement。 Jacob had been nearly as
klutzy as me with his
never…ending growth spurt。 When did that changed？
But Jacob didn't give me time to think about it。
〃Let's get this over with；〃 he said in a hard； husky voice。
I waited。 He knew what I wanted。
〃It's not what you think。〃 His voice was abruptly weary。 〃It's not what I
thought—I was way off。〃
〃So what