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stack I'd removed in preparation for today。
J wrote the price down on the bottom of the legal pad。
I nodded calmly。 I had more than that with me。 I unclasped my bag again and counted out the right
amount—I had it all paperclipped into fivethousanddollar increments； so it took no time at all。
〃There。〃
〃Ah； Bella； you don't really have to give me the entire sum now。 It's customary for you to save half to
ensure delivery。〃
I smiled wanly at the nervous man。 〃But I trust you； J。 Besides； I'll give you a bonus—the same again
when I get the documents。〃
〃That's not necessary； I assure you。〃
〃Don't worry about it。〃 It wasn't like I could take it with me。 〃So HI meet you here next week at the
same time？〃
He gave me a pained look。 〃Actually； I prefer to make such transactions in places unrelated to my
various businesses。〃
〃Of course。 I'm sure I'm not doing this the way you expect。〃
〃I'm used to having no expectations when it es to the Cullen family。〃 He grimaced and then quickly
posed his face again。 〃Shall we meet at eight o'clock a week from tonight at The Pacifico？ It's on
Union Lake； and the food is exquisite。〃
〃Perfect。〃 Not that I would be joining him for dinner。 He actually wouldn't like it much if I did。
I rose and shook his hand again。 This time he didn't flinch。 But he did seem to have some new worry on
his mind。 His mouth was pinched up； his back tense。
〃Will you have trouble with that deadline？〃 I asked。
〃What？〃 He looked up； taken off guard by my question。 〃The deadline？ Oh； no。 No worries at all。 I will
certainly have your documents done on time。〃
It would have been nice to have Edward here； so that I would know what J's real worries were。 I
sighed。 Keeping secrets from Edward was bad enough； having to be away from him was almost too
much。
〃Then HI see you in one week。〃
34。 DECLARED
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I heard the music before I was out of the car。 Edward hadn't touched his piano since the night Alice left。
Now； as I shut the car door； I heard the song morph through a bridge and change into my lullaby。
Edward was weling me home。
I moved slowly as I pulled Renesmee—fast asleep； we'd been gone all day—from the car。 We'd left
Jacob at Charlie's—he'd said he was going to catch a ride home with Sue。 I wondered if he was trying to
fill his head with enough trivia to crowd out the image of the way my face had looked when I'd walked
through Charlie's door。
As I walked slowly to the Cullen house now； I recognized that the hope and uplift that seemed almost a
visible aura around the big white house had been mine this morning； too。 It felt alien to me now。
I wanted to cry again； hearing Edward play for me。 But I pulled it together。 I didn't want him to be
suspicious。 I would leave no clues in his mind for Aro if I could help it。
Edward turned his head and smiled when I came in the door； but kept playing。
〃Wele home；〃 he said； as if this was just any normal day。 As if there weren't twelve other vampires
in the room involved in various pursuits； and a dozen more scattered around somewhere。 〃Did you have a
good time with Charlie today？〃
〃Yes。 Sorry I was gone so long。 I stepped out to do a little Christmas shopping for Renesmee。 I know it
won't be much of an event； but。。。〃 I shrugged。
Edward's lips turned down。 He quit playing and spun around on the bench so that his whole body was
facing me。 He put one hand on my waist and pulled me closer。 〃I hadn't thought much about it。 If you
want to make an event of it—〃
〃No；〃 I interrupted him。 I flinched internally at the idea of trying to fake more enthusiasm than the bare
minimum。 〃I just didn't want to let it pass without giving her something。〃
〃Do I get to see？〃
〃If you want。 It's only a little thing。〃
Renesmee was pletely unconscious； snoring delicately against my neck。 I envied her。 It would have
been nice to escape reality； even for just a few hours。
Carefully； I fished the little velvet jewelry bag from my clutch without opening the purse enough for
Edward to see the cash I was still carrying。
〃It caught my eye from the window of an antique store while I was driving by。〃
I shook the little golden locket into his palm。 It was round with a slender vine border carved around the
outside edge of the circle。 Edward popped the tiny catch and looked inside。 There was space for a small
picture and； on the opposite side； an inscription in French。
〃Do you know what this says？〃 he asked in a different tone； more subdued than before。
〃The shopkeeper told me it said something along the lines of 'more than my own life。' Is that right？〃
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〃Yes； he had it right。〃
He looked up at me； his topaz eyes probing。 I met his gaze for a moment； then pretended to be
distracted by the television。
〃I hope she likes it；〃 I muttered。
〃Of course she will；〃 he said lightly； casually； and I was sure in that second that he knew I was keeping
something from him。 I was also sure that he had no idea of the specifics。
〃Let's take her home；〃 he suggested； standing and putting his arm around my shoulders。
I hesitated。
〃What？〃 he demanded。
〃I wanted to practice with Emmett a little___〃 I'd lost the whole day to my vital errand； it made me feel
behind。
Emmett—on the sofa with Rose and holding the remote； of course—looked up and grinned in
anticipation。 〃Excellent。 The forest needs thinning。〃
Edward frowned at Emmett and then at me。
〃There's plenty of time for that tomorrow；〃 he said。
〃Don't be ridiculous；〃 I plained。 〃There's no such thing as plenty of time anymore。 That concept
does not exist。 I have a lot to learn and—〃
He cut me off。 〃Tomorrow。〃
And his expression was such that not even Emmett argued。
i was surprised at how hard it was to go back to a routine that was； after all； brand new。 But stripping
away even that little bit of hope I'd been fostering made everything seem impossible。
I tried to focus on the positives。 There was a good chance that my daughter was going to survive what
was
ing； and Jacob； too。 If they had a future； then that was a kind of victory； wasn't it？ Our little band
must be going to hold their own if Jacob and Renesmee were going to have the opportunity to run in the
first place。 Yes； Alice's strategy only made sense if we were going to put up a really good fight。 So； a
kind of victory there； too； considering that the Volturi had never been seriously challenged in millennia。
It was not going to be the end of the world。 Just the end of the Cullens。 The end of Edward； the end of
me。
I preferred it that way—the last part anyway。 I would not live without Edward again； if he was leaving
this world； then I would be right behind him。
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I wondered idly now and then if there would be anything for us on the other side。 I knew Edward didn't
really believe so； but Carlisle did。 I couldn't imagine it myself。 On the other hand； I couldn't imagine
Edward not existing somehow； somewhere。 If we could be together in any place； then that was a happy
ending。
And so the pattern of my days continued； just that much harder than before。
We went to see Charlie on Christmas Day； Edward； Renesmee； Jacob； and I。 All of Jacob's pack were
there； plus Sam； Emily； and Sue。 It was a big help to have them there in Charlie's little rooms； their huge；
warm bodies wedged into corners around his sparsely decorated tree—you could see exactly where he'd
gotten bored and quit—and overflowing his furniture。 You could always count on werewolves to be
buzzed about a ing fight； no matter how suicidal。 The electricity of their excitement provided a nice
current that disguised my utter lack of spirit。 Edward was； as always； a better actor than I was。
Renesmee wore the locket I'd given her at dawn； and in her jacket pocket was the MP3 player Edward
had given her—a