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protecting it Bella's life means nothing to her。〃
The noise ing from my throat sounded like I was choking。
What was he saying？ That Bella should； what？ Have a baby？ With me？ What？ How？ Was he giving her
up？ Or did he think she wouldn't mind being shared？
〃Whichever。 Whatever keeps her alive。〃
〃That'sthe craziest thing you've said yet；〃 I mumbled。
〃She loves you。〃
〃Not enough。〃
〃She's ready to die to have a child。 Maybe she'd accept something less extreme。〃
〃Don't you know her at all？〃
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〃I know； I know。It's going to take a lot of convincing。 That's why I need you。 You know how she
thinks。 Make hersee sense。〃
I couldn't think about what he was suggesting。 It was too much。 Impossible。 Wrong。 Sick。 Borrowing
Bella for the weekends and then returning her Monday morning like a rental movie？ So messed up。
So tempting。
I didn't want to consider； didn't want to imagine； but the images came anyway。 I'd fantasized about Bella
that way too many times； back when there was still a possibility of us； and then long after it was clear that
the fantasies would only leave festering sores because there was no possibility； none at all。 I hadn't been
able to help myself then。 I couldn't stop myself now。 Bella in my arms； Bella sighing my name。。。
Worse still； this new image I'd never had before； one that by all rights shouldn't have existed for me。 Not
yet。 An image I knew I wouldn't've suffered over for years if he hadn't shoved it in my head now。 But it
stuck there； winding threads through my brain like a weed—poisonous and unkillable。 Bella； healthy and
glowing； so different than now； but something the same： her body； not distorted； changed in a more
natural way。 Round with my child。
I tried to escape the venomous weed in my mind。 〃Make Bella see sense？ What universe do you live
in？〃
〃At least try。〃
I shook my head fast。 He waited； ignoring the negative answer because he could hear the conflict in my
thoughts。
〃Where is this psycho crap ing from？ Are you making this up as you go？〃
〃I've been thinking of nothing but ways to save her since I realized what she was planning to do。 What
she would die to do。 But I didn't know how to contact you。 I knew you wouldn't listen if I called。 I would
have e to find you soon； if you hadn't e today。 But it's hard to leave her； even for a few minutes。
Her condition。。。 it changes so fast。 The thing is。。。 growing。 Swiftly。 I can't be away from her now。〃
〃What is it？〃
〃None of us have any idea。 But it is stronger than she is。 Already。〃
I could suddenly see it then—see the swelling monster in my head； breaking her from the inside out。
〃Help me stop it；〃 he whispered。 〃Help me stop this from happening。〃
〃How？By offering my stud services？〃 He didn't even flinch when I said that； but I did。 〃You're really
sick。 She'll never listen to this。〃
〃Try。 There's nothing to lose now。 How will it hurt？〃
It would hurt me。 Hadn't I taken enough rejection from Bella without this？
〃A little pain to save her？ Is it such a high cost？〃
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〃But it won't work。〃
〃Maybe not。 Maybe it will confuse her； though。 Maybe she'll falter in her resolve。 One moment of doubt
is all I need。〃
〃And then you pull the rug out from under the offer？ 'Just kidding； Bella'？〃
〃If she wants a child； that's what she gets。 I won't rescind。〃
I couldn't believe I was even thinking about this。 Bella would punch me—not that I cared about that； but
it would probably break her hand again。 I shouldn't let him talk to me； mess with my head。 I should just
kill him now。
〃Not now；〃 he whispered。 〃Not yet。 Right or wrong； it would destroy her； and you know it。 No need to
be hasty。 If she won't listen to you； you'll get your chance。 The moment Bella's heart stops beating； I will
be begging for you to me。〃
〃You won't have to beg long。〃
The hint of a worn smile tugged at the corner of his mouth。 〃I'm very much counting on that。〃
〃Then we have a deal。〃
He nodded and held out his cold stone hand。
Swallowing my disgust； I reached out to take his hand。 My fingers closed around the rock； and I shook
it once。
〃We have a deal；〃 he agreed。
10。 WHY DIDN'T I JUST WALK AWAY？ OH RIGHT； BECAUSE I'M AN IDIOT。
I felt like—like I don't know what。 Like this wasn't real。 Like I was in some Goth version of a bad
sit。 Instead of being the AA dweeb about to ask the head cheerleader to the prom； I was the
finishedsecondplace werewolf about to ask the vampire's wife to shack up and procreate。 Nice。
No； I wouldn't do it。 It was twisted and wrong。 I was going to forget all about what he'd said。
But I would talk to her。 I'd try to make her listen to me。
And she wouldn't。 Just like always。
Edward didn't answer or ment on my thoughts as he led the way back to the house。 I wondered
about the place that he'd chosen to stop。 Was it far enough from the house that the others couldn't hear
his whispers？ Was that the point？
Maybe。 When we walked through the door； the other Cullens' eyes were suspicious and confused。 No
one looked disgusted or outraged。 So they must not have heard either favor Edward had asked me for。
I hesitated in the open doorway； not sure what to do now。 It was better right there； with a little bit of
breathable air blowing in from outside。
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Edward walked into the middle of the huddle； shoulders stiff。 Bella watched him anxiously； and then her
eyes flickered to me for a second。 Then she was watching him again。
Her face turned a grayish pale； and I could see what he meant about the stress making her feel worse。
〃We're going tolet Jacob and Bella speak privately；〃 Edward said。 There was no inflection at all in his
voice。 Robotic。
〃Over my pile of ashes；〃 Rosalie hissed at him。 She was still hovering by Bella's head； one of her cold
hands placed possessively on Bella's sallow cheek。
Edward didn't look at her。 〃Bella；〃 he said in that same empty tone。 〃Jacob wants to talk to you。 Are you
afraid to
be alone with him？〃
Bella looked at me； confused。 Then she looked at Rosalie。
〃Rose； it's fine。 Jake's not going to hurt us。 Go with Edward。〃
〃It might be a trick；〃 the blonde warned。
〃I don't see how；〃 Bella said。
〃Carlisle and I will always be in your sight； Rosalie；〃 Edward said。 The emotionless voice was cracking；
showing the anger through it。 〃We're the ones she's afraid of。〃
〃No；〃 Bella whispered。 Her eyes were glistening； her lashes wet。 〃No； Edward。 I'm not___〃
He shook his head； smiling a little。 The smile was painful to look at。 〃I didn't mean it that way； Bella。 I'm
fine。 Don't worry about me。〃
Sickening。 He was right—she was beating herself up about hurting his feelings。 The girl was a classic
martyr。 She'd totally been born in the wrong century。 She should have lived back when she could have
gotten herself fed to some lions for a good cause。
〃Everyone；〃 Edward said； his hand stiffly motioning toward the door。 〃Please。〃
The posure he was trying to keep up for Bella was shaky。 I could see how close he was to that
burning man he'd been outside。 The others saw it； too。 Silently； they moved out the door while I shifted
out of the way。 They moved fast； my heart beat twice； and the room was cleared except for Rosalie；
hesitating in the middle of the floor； and Edward； still waiting by the door。
〃Rose；〃 Bella said quietly。 〃I want you to go。〃
The blonde glared at Edward and then gestured for him to go first。 He disappeared out the door。 She
gave me a long warning glower； and then she disappeared； too。
Once we were alone； I crossed the room and sat on the floor next to Bella。 I took both her cold hands
in mine； rubbing them carefully。
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〃Thanks； Jake。 That feels good。〃
〃I'm not going t