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I vacillated between the rock and the hard place。 The bell rang； and she started collecting her things without looking at me。 This disappointed me； but I could hardly expect otherwise。 The way I had treated her since the accident was inexcusable。 Bella？ I said； unable to stop myself。 My willpower already lay in shreds。 She hesitated before looking at me； when she turned； her expression was guarded； distrustful。 I reminded myself that she had every right to distrust me。 That she should。 She waited for me to continue； but I just stared at her； reading her face。 I pulled in shallow mouthfuls of air at regular intervals； fighting my thirst。 What？ she finally said。 Are you speaking to me again？ There was an edge of resentment to her tone that was； like her anger； endearing。 It made me want to smile。 I wasn t sure how to answer her question。 Was I speaking to her again； in the sense that she meant？ No。 Not if I could help it。 I would try to help it。 No； not really； I told her。 She closed her eyes； which frustrated me。 It cut off my best avenue of access to her feelings。 She took a long； slow breath without opening her eyes。 Her jaw was locked。 Eyes still closed； she spoke。 Why did she do it？ Surely this was not a normal human way to converse。 Then what do you want； Edward？ The sound of my name on her lips did strange things to my body。 heartbeat； it would have quickened。 But how to answer her？ If I d had a With the truth； I decided。 I would be as truthful as I could with her from now on。 I didn t want to deserve her distrust； even if earning her trust was impossible。
I m sorry； I told her。 That was truer than she would ever know。 Unfortunately； I could only safely apologize for the trivial。 I m being very rude； I know。 But it s better this way； really。 I would be better for her if I could keep it up； continue to be rude。 Her eyes opened； their expression still wary。 I don t know what you mean。 I tried to get as much of a warning through to her as was allowed。 It s better if we re not friends。 Surely； she could sense that much。 She was a bright girl。 Trust me。 Her eyes tightened； and I remembered that I had said those words to her before just before breaking a promise。 I winced when her teeth clenched together she clearly remembered； too。 It s too bad you didn t figure that out earlier； she said angrily。 have saved yourself all this regret。 I stared at her in shock。 Regret？ What did she know of my regrets？ You could Could I？ Regret for what？ I demanded。 For not just letting that stupid van squish me！ she snapped。 I froze； stunned。 How could she be thinking that？ Saving her life was the one acceptable thing I d done since I met her。 The one thing that I was not ashamed of。 The one and only thing that made me glad I existed at all。 I d been fighting to keep her alive since the first moment I d caught her scent。 How could she think this of me？ How dare she question my one good deed in all this mess？ You think I regret saving your life？ I know you do； she retorted。 Her estimation of my intentions left me seething。 You don t know anything。 How confusing and inprehensible the workings of her mind were！ She must not think in the same way as other humans at all。 That must be the explanation behind her mental silence。 She was entirely other。 She jerked her face away； gritting her teeth again。 Her cheeks were flushed； with anger this time。 She slammed her books together in a pile； yanked them up into her arms； and marched toward the door without meeting my stare。 Even irritated as I was； it was impossible not to find her anger a bit entertaining。 She walked stiffly； without looking where she was going； and her foot caught on the lip of the doorway。 She stumbled； and her things all crashed to the ground。 Instead of bending to get them； she stood rigidly straight； not even looking down； as if she were not sure the books were worth retrieving。
I managed not to laugh。 No one was here to watch me； I flitted to her side； and had her books put in order before she looked down。 She bent halfway； saw me； and then froze。 sure that my icy skin never touched hers。 I handed her books back to her； making Thank you； she said in a cold； severe voice。 Her tone brought back my irritation。 You re wele； I said just as coldly。 She wrenched herself upright and stomped away to her next class。 I watched until I could no longer see her angry figure。 Spanish passed in a blur。 Mrs。 Goff never questioned my abstraction she knew my Spanish was superior to hers； and she gave me a great deal of latitude leaving me free to think。 So； I couldn t ignore the girl。 That much was obvious。 But did it mean I had no choice but to destroy her？ That could not be the only available future。 There had to be some other choice； some delicate balance。 I tried to think of a way I didn t pay much attention to Emmett until the hour was nearly up。 He was curious Emmett was not overly intuitive about the shades in other s moods； but he could see the obvious change in me。 He wondered what had happened to remove the unrelenting glower from my face。 He struggled to define the change； and finally decided that I looked hopeful。 Hopeful？ Is that what it looked like from the outside？ I pondered the idea of hope as we walked to the Volvo； wondering what exactly I should be hoping for。 But I didn t have long to ponder。 Sensitive as I always was to thoughts about the girl； the sound of Bella s name in the heads of of my rivals； I suppose I had to admit； caught my attention。 Eric and Tyler； having heard with much satisfaction of Mike s failure； were preparing to make their moves。 Eric was already in place； positioned against her truck where she could not avoid him。 Tyler s class was being held late to receive an assignment； and he was in a desperate hurry to catch her before she escaped。 This I had to see。 Wait for the others here； all right？ I murmured to Emmett。 He eyed me suspiciously； but then shrugged and nodded。 Kid s lost his mind； he thought； amused by my odd request。 I saw Bella on her way out of the gym； and I waited where she would not see me for her to pass。 As she got closer to Eric s ambush； I strode forward； setting my pace so that I would walk by at the right moment。
I watched her body stiffen when she caught sight of the boy waiting for her。 froze for a moment； then relaxed and moved forward。 Hi； Eric； I heard her call in a friendly voice。 I was abruptly and unexpectedly anxious。 What if this gangly teen with his unhealthy skin was somehow pleasing to her？ Eric swallowed loudly； his Adam s apple bobbing。 She seemed unconscious of his nervousness。 Hi； Bella。 She What s up？ she asked； unlocking her truck without looking at his frightened expression。 Uh； I was just wondering if you would go to the spring dance with me？ His voice broke。 She finally looked up。 Was she taken aback； or pleased？ gaze； so I couldn t see her face in his mind。 Eric couldn t meet her I thought it was girl s choice； she said； sounding flustered。 Well； yeah； he agreed wretchedly。 This pitiable boy did not irritate me as much as Mike Newton did； but I couldn t find it in myself to feel sympathy for his angst until after Bella had answered him in a gentle voice。 Thank you for asking me； but I m going to be in Seattle that day。 He d already heard this； still； it was a disappointment。 Oh； he mumbled； barely daring to raise his eyes to the level of her nose。 Maybe next time。 Sure； she agreed。 Then she bit down on her lip； as if she regretted leaving him a loophole。 I liked that。 Eric slumped forward and walked away； headed in the wrong direction from his car； his only thought escape。 I passed her in that moment； and heard her sigh of relief。 I laughed。 She whirled at the sound； but I stared straight ahead； trying to keep my lips from twitching in amusement。 Tyler was behind me； almost running in his hurry to catch her before she could drive away。 He was bolder and more confident than the other two； he d only waited to approach Bella this long because he d respected Mike s prior claim。 I wanted him to succeed in catching her for two reasons。 If as I was beginning to suspect all this attention was annoying to Bella； I wanted to enjoy watching her reaction。 But； if it was not if Tyler s invitation was the one she d been hopi