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5 midnight sun午夜阳光-第42部分

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 slightly annoyed by her resentful attitude toward Bella; I smiled widely at her; baring my teeth。 Let her see me clearly。 Whoa。 Um your server will be right out。 He can t be real。 I must be asleep。 Maybe she ll disappear maybe I ll write my number on his plate with ketchup She wandered away; listing slightly to the side。 Odd。 She still wasn t frightened。 I suddenly remembered Emmett teasing me in the cafeteria; so many weeks ago。 I ll bet I could have scared her better than that。 Was I losing my edge? You really shouldn t do that to people; Bella interrupted my thoughts in a

disapproving tone。 It s hardly fair。 I hadn t frightened the I stared at her critical expression。 What did she mean? hostess at all; despite my intentions。 Do what? Dazzle them like that she s probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now。 Hmm。 Bella was very nearly right。 The hostess was only semicoherent at the moment; describing her incorrect assessment of me to her friend on the wait staff。 Oh; e on; Bella chided me when I didn t answer immediately。 know the effect you have on people。 I dazzle people? That was an interesting way of phrasing it。 for tonight。 I wondered why the difference You haven t noticed? she asked; still critical。 their way so easily? You have to Accurate enough Do you think everybody gets Do I dazzle you? I voiced my curiosity impulsively; and then the words were out; and it was too late to recall them。 But before I had time to too deeply regret speaking the words aloud she answered; Frequently。 And her cheeks took on a faint pink glow。 I dazzled her。 My silent heart swelled with a hope more intense than I could ever remember having felt before。 Hello; someone said; the waitress; introducing herself。 Her thoughts were loud; and more explicit than the hostess s; but I tuned her out。 I stared at Bella s face instead of listening; watching the blood spreading under her skin; noticing not how that made my throat flame; but rather how it brightened her fair face; how it set off the cream of her skin The waitress was waiting for something from me。 Ah; she d asked for our drink order。 I continued to stare at Bella; and the waitress grudgingly turned to look at her; too。 I ll have a coke? Bella said; as if asking for approval。 Two cokes; I amended。 Thirst normal; human thirst was a sign of shock。 make sure she had the extra sugar from the soda in her system。 She looked healthy; though。 More than healthy。 She looked radiant。 I was vaguely aware I would What? she demanded wondering why I was staring; I guessed。 that the waitress had left。 How are you feeling? I asked。 She blinked; surprised by the question。 You don t feel dizzy; sick; cold? She was even more confused now。 Should I? I m fine。

Well; I actually I m waiting for you to go into shock。 her denial。 She would not want to be taken care of。 I halfsmiled; expecting She looked It took her a minute to answer me。 Her eyes were slightly unfocused。 that way sometimes; when I smiled at her。 Was she dazzled? I would love to believe that。 I don t think that will happen。 I ve always been very good at repressing unpleasant things; she answered; a little breathless。 Did she have a lot of practice with unpleasant things; then? this hazardous? Just the same; I told her。 in you。 Was her life always I ll feel better when you have some sugar and food The waitress returned with the cokes and a basket of bread。 She put them in front of me; and asked for my order; trying to catch my eye in the process。 I indicated that she should attend to Bella; and then went back to tuning her out。 She had a vulgar mind。 Um Bella glanced quickly at the menu。 I ll have the mushroom ravioli。 The waitress turned back to me eagerly。 Nothing for me。 Bella made a slight face。 Hmm。 She must have noticed that I never ate food。 noticed everything。 And I always forgot to be careful around her。 I waited till we were alone again。 Drink; I insisted。 I was surprised when she plied immediately and without objection。 She drank until the glass was entirely empty; so I pushed the second coke toward her; frowning a little。 Thirst; or shock? She drank a little more; and then shuddered once。 Are you cold? It s just the coke; she said; but she shivered again; her lips trembling slightly as if her teeth were about to chatter。 The pretty blouse she wore looked too thin to protect her adequately; it clung to her like a second skin; almost as fragile as the first。 She was so frail; so mortal。 Don t you have a jacket? Yes。 car。 She looked around herself; a little perplexed。 Oh I left it in Jessica s She And you? I pulled off my jacket; wishing that the gesture was not marred by my body temperature。 It would have been nice to have been able to offer her a warm coat。 She stared at me; her cheeks warming again。 What was she thinking now? I handed her the jacket across the table; and she put it on at once; and then shuddered again。

Yes; it would be very nice to be warm。 Thanks; she said。 She took a deep breath; and then pushed the toolong sleeves back to free her hands。 She took another deep breath。 Was the evening finally settling in? Her color was still good; her skin was cream and roses against the deep blue of her shirt。 That color blue looks lovely with your skin; I plimented her。 Just being honest。 She flushed; enhancing the effect。 She looked well; but there was no point in taking chances。 bread toward her。 Really; she objected; guessing my motives。 I pushed the basket of I m not going into shock。 You should be a normal person would be。 You don t even look shaken。 I stared at her; disapproving; wondering why she couldn t be normal and then wondering if really wanted her to be that way。 I feel very safe with you; she said; her eyes; again; filled with trust。 I didn t deserve。 Trust Her instincts were all wrong backwards。 That must be the problem。 She didn t recognize danger the way a human being should be able to。 She had the opposite reaction。 Instead of running; she lingered; drawn to what should frighten her How could I protect her from myself when neither of us wanted that? This is more plicated than I d planned; I murmured。 I could see her turning my words over in her head; and I wondered what she made of them。 She took a breadstick and began to eat without seeming aware of the action。 She chewed for a moment; and then leaned her head to one side thoughtfully。 Usually you re in a better mood when your eyes are so light; she said in a casual tone。 Her observation; stated so matter of factly; left me reeling。 What? I have a I felt a deep You re always crabbier when your eyes are black I expect it then。 theory about that; she added lightly。 So she had e up with her own explanation。 Of course she had。 sense of dread as I wondered how close she d e to the truth。 More theories? Mmhm。 She chewed on another bite; entirely nonchalant。 As if she weren t discussing the aspects of a monster with the monster himself。 I hope you were more creative this time I lied when she didn t continue。 What I really hoped was that she was wrong miles wide of the mark。 still stealing from ic books? Or are you

Well; no; I didn t get it from a ic book; she said; a little embarrassed。 But I didn t e up with it on my own; either。 And? I asked between my teeth。 Surely should would not speak so calmly if she were about to scream。 As she hesitated; biting her lip; the waitress reappeared with Bella s food。 I paid the server little attention as she set the plate in front of Bella and then asked if I wanted anything。 I declined; but asked for more coke。 glasses。 She took them and left。 The waitress hadn t noticed the empty You were saying? I prompted anxiously as soon as we were alone again。 I ll tell you about it in the car; she said in a low voice。 Ah; this would be bad。 She wasn t willing to speak her guesses around others。 If she tacked on suddenly。 There are conditions? I was so tense I almost growled the words。 I do have a few questions; of course。 Of course; I agreed; my voice hard。 Her questions would probably be enough to tell me where her thoughts were heading。 But how would I answer them? With responsible lies? Or would I drive her away with truth? Or would I say nothing; unable to decide? We sat in silence while the waitress replenished her supply of
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