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。 Sorry also for the things beyond my control that I d been the monster chosen by fate to end her life in the first place。 I took a deep breath ignoring my wretched reaction to the flavor in the car and tried to collect myself。
I wanted to change the subject； to think of something else。 Lucky for me； my curiosity about the girl was insatiable。 I always had a question。 Tell me something； I said。 Yes？ she asked huskily； tears still in her voice。 What were you thinking tonight； just before I came around the corner？ I couldn t understand your expression you didn t look that scared； you looked like you were concentrating very hard on something。 I remembered her face forcing myself to forget whose eyes I was looking through the look of determination there。 I was trying to remember how to incapacitate an attacker； she said； her voice more posed。 You know； self defense。 I was going to smash his nose into his brain。 Her posure did not last to the end of her explanation。 Her tone twisted until it seethed with hate。 This was no hyperbole； and her kittenish fury was not humorous now。 I could see her frail figure just silk over glass overshadowed by the meaty； heavyfisted human monsters who would have hurt her。 The fury boiled in the back of my head。 You were going to fight them？ I wanted to groan。 herself。 Didn t you think about running？ I fall down a lot when I run； she said sheepishly。 What about screaming for help？ I was getting to that part。 I shook my head in disbelief。 to Forks？ How had she managed to stay alive before she d e I m definitely fighting Her instincts were deadly to You were right； I told her； a sour edge to my voice。 fate trying to keep you alive。 She sighed； and glanced out the window。 Then she looked back at me。 Will I see you tomorrow？ she demanded abruptly。 As long as I was on my way to hell I might as well enjoy the journey。 Yes I have a paper due； too。 I smiled at her； and it felt good to do this。 I ll save you a seat at lunch。 Her heart fluttered； my dead heart suddenly felt warmer。 I stopped the car in front of her father s house。 She made no move to leave me。 Do you promise to be there tomorrow？ she insisted。 I promise。 How could doing the wrong thing give me so much happiness？ Surely there was
something amiss in that。 She nodded to herself； satisfied； and started to remove my jacket。 You can keep it； I assured her quickly。 I rather wanted to leave her with something of myself。 A token； like the bottle cap that was in my pocket now You don t have a jacket for tomorrow。 She handed it back to me； smiling ruefully。 I don t want to have to explain to Charlie； she told me。 I would imagine not。 I smiled at her。 Oh； right。 She put her hand on the door handle； and then stopped。 as I was unwilling for her to go。 To have her unprotected； even for a few moments Peter and Charlotte were well on their way by now； long past Seattle； no doubt。 But there were always others。 This world was not a safe place for any human； and for her it seemed to be more dangerous than it was for the rest。 Bella？ I asked； surprised at the pleasure there was in simply speaking her name。 Yes？ Will you promise me something？ Yes； she agreed easily； and then her eyes tightened as if she d thought of a reason to object。 Don t go into the woods alone； I warned her； wondering if this request would trigger the objection in her eyes。 She blinked； startled。 Why？ Unwilling to leave； just I glowered into the untrustworthy darkness。 The lack of light was no problem for my eyes； but neither would it trouble another hunter。 It only blinded humans。 I m not always the most dangerous thing out there； I told her。 at that。 Let s leave it She shivered； but recovered quickly and was even smiling when she told me； Whatever you say。 Her breath touched my face； so sweet and fragrant。 I could stay here all night like this； but she needed her sleep。 The two desires seemed equally strong as they continually warred inside me： wanting her versus wanting her to be safe。 I sighed at the impossibilities。 I ll see you tomorrow； I said； knowing that I would see her much sooner than that。 She wouldn t see me until tomorrow； though。 Tomorrow； then； she agreed as she opened her door。 Agony again； watching her leave。
I leaned after her； wanting to hold her here。 Bella？ She turned； and then froze； surprised to find our faces so close together。 I； too； was overwhelmed by the proximity。 The heat rolled off her in waves； caressing my face。 I could all but feel the silk of her skin Her heartbeat stuttered； and her lips fell open。 Sleep well； I whispered； and leaned away before the urgency in my body either the familiar thirst or the very new and strange hunger I suddenly felt could make me do something that might hurt her。 She sat there motionless for a moment； her eyes wide and stunned。 guessed。 As was I。 She recovered though her face was still a bit bemused and half fell out of the car； tripping over her feet and having to catch the frame of the car to right herself。 I chuckled hopefully it was too quiet for her to hear。 I watched her stumble her way up to the pool of light that surrounded the front door。 Safe for the moment。 And I would be back soon to make sure。 I could feel her eyes follow me as I drove down the dark street。 Such a different sensation than I was accustomed to。 Usually； I could simply watch myself through someone s following eyes； were I of a mind to。 This was strangely exciting this intangible sensation of watching eyes。 I knew it was just because they were her eyes。 A million thoughts chased each other through my head as I drove aimlessly into the night。 For a long time I circled through the streets； and the incredible release of having the truth dread that she would find out what I was。 She Even though this was obviously a bad thing for for me。 going nowhere； thinking of Bella known。 No longer did I have to knew。 It didn t matter to her。 her； it was amazingly liberating me the probably the the Dazzled； I More than that； I thought of Bella and requited love。 She couldn t love way I loved her such an overpowering； allconsuming； crushing love would break her fragile body。 But she felt strongly enough。 Enough to subdue instinctive fear。 Enough to want to be with me。 And being with her was greatest happiness I had ever known。 For a while as I was all alone and hurting no one else for a change I allowed myself to feel that happiness without dwelling on the tragedy。 Just to be happy that she cared for me。 Just to exult in the triumph of winning her affection。 Just to imagine day after day of sitting close to her； hearing her voice and earning her smiles。 I replayed that smile in my head； seeing her full lips pull up at the corners； the hint of a dimple that touched her pointed chin； the way her eyes warmed and melted Her fingers had felt so warm and soft on my hand tonight。 I imagined how it would feel to touch the delicate skin that stretched over her cheekbones silky； warm so fragile。 Silk over glass frighteningly breakable。 I didn t see where my thoughts were leading until it was too late。 As I dwelt on that devastating vulnerability； new images of her face intruded on my fantasies。 Lost in the shadows； pale with fear yet her jaw tight and determined； her eyes
fierce； full of concentration； her slim body braced to strike at the hulking forms that gathered around her； nightmares in the gloom Ah； I groaned as the simmering hate that I d all but forgotten in the joy of loving her burst again into an inferno of rage。 I was alone。 Bella was； I trusted； safe inside her home； for a moment I was fiercely glad that Charlie Swan head of the local law enforcement； trained and armed was her father。 That ought to mean something； provide some shelter for her。 She was safe。 No。 It would not take me so very long to avenge the insult I could not allow her to care for a murderer。 She deserved better。 But what about the others？ Bella was safe； yes。 Angela and Jessica were also； surely； safe in their beds。 Yet a monster was loose in the streets of Port Angeles。 A human monster did that make him the humans problem？ To mit the murder I ached to mit was wrong。 I knew that。 But leaving him free to attack again could not be the right thing either。 The blond hostess from the restaurant。