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watch and sauntered back toward his resting place。 It calmed me； but irritated me。 Couldn’t he scratch a
message in the dirt or something？
The pacing was starting to make me sweat under all my layers。 I threw my jacket into the tent； and then I
went back to wearing a path across the center of the tiny break in the trees。
Seth jumped to his feet again suddenly； the hackles on the back of his neck standing up stiffly。 I looked
around； but saw nothing。 If Seth didn’t cut it out； I was going to throw a pinecone at him。
He growled； a low warning sound； slinking back toward the western rim； and I rethought my impatience。
“It’s just us； Seth；” Jacob called from a distance。
I tried to explain to myself why my heart kicked into fourth gear when I heard him。 It was just fear of what
I was going to have to do now； that was all。 I could not allow myself to be relieved that he’d e back。 That
would be the opposite of helpful。
Edward walked into view first； his face blank and smooth。 When he stepped out from the shadows； the
sun shimmered on his skin like it did on the snow。 Seth went to greet him； looking intently into his eyes。
Edward nodded slowly； and worry creased his forehead。
“Yes； that’s all we need；” he muttered to himself before addressing the big wolf。 “I suppose we shouldn’t
be surprised。 But the timing is going to be very close。 Please have Sam ask Alice to try to nail the schedule
down better。”
Seth dipped his head once； and I wished I was able to growl。 Sure； he could nod now。 I turned my head；
annoyed； and realized that Jacob was there。
He had his back to me； facing the way he’d e。 I waited warily for him to turn around。
“Bella；” Edward murmured； suddenly right beside me。 He stared down at me with nothing but concern
showing in his eyes。 There was no end to his generosity。 I deserved him now less than I ever had。
“There’s a bit of a plication；” he told me； his voice carefully unworried。 “I’m going to take Seth a little
ways away and try to straighten it out。 I won’t go far； but I won’t listen； either。 I know you don’t want an
audience； no matter which way you decide to go。”
Only at the very end did the pain break into his voice。
I had to never hurt him again。 That would be my mission in life。 Never again would I be the reason for this
look to e into his eyes。
I was too upset to even ask him what the new problem was。 I didn’t need anything else right now。
“Hurry back；” I whispered。
He kissed me lightly on the lips； and then disappeared into the forest with Seth at his side。
Jacob was still in the shadow of the trees； I couldn’t see his expression clearly。
“I’m in a hurry； Bella；” he said in a dull voice。 “Why don’t you get it over with？”
I swallowed； my throat suddenly so dry I wasn’t sure if I could make sound e out。
“Just say the words； and be done with it。”
I took a deep breath。
“I’m sorry I’m such a rotten person；” I whispered。 “I’m sorry I’ve been so selfish。 I wish I’d never met
you； so I couldn’t hurt you the way I have。 I won’t do it anymore； I promise。 I’ll stay far away from you。 I’ll
move out of the state。 You won’t have to look at me ever again。”
“That’s not much of an apology；” he said bitterly。
I couldn’t make my voice louder than a whisper。 “Tell me how to do it right。”
“What if I don’t want you to go away？ What if I’d rather you stayed； selfish or not？ Don’t I get any say； if
you’re trying to make things up to me？”
“That won’t help anything； Jake。 It was wrong to stay with you when we wanted such different things。 It’s
not going to get better。 I’ll just keep hurting you。 I don’t want to hurt you anymore。 I hate it。” My voice broke。
He sighed。 “Stop。 You don’t have to say anything else。 I understand。”
I wanted to tell him how much I would miss him； but I bit my tongue。 That would not help anything； either。
He stood quietly for a moment； staring at the ground； and I fought against the urge to go and put my arms
around him。 To fort him。
And then his head snapped up。
“Well； you’re not the only one capable of selfsacrifice；” he said； his voice stronger。 “Two can play at that
game。”
“What？”
“I’ve behaved pretty badly myself。 I’ve made this much harder for you than I needed to。 I could have
given up with good grace in the beginning。 But I hurt you； too。”
“This is my fault。”
“I won’t let you claim all the blame here； Bella。 Or all the glory either。 I know how to redeem myself。”
“What are you talking about？” I demanded。 The sudden； frenzied light in his eyes frightened me。
He glanced up at the sun and then smiled at me。 “There’s a pretty serious fight brewing down there。 I
don’t think it will be that difficult to take myself out of the picture。”
His words sank into my brain； slowly； one by one； and I couldn’t breathe。 Despite all my intentions to cut
Jacob out of mylife pletely； I didn’t realize until that precise second exactly how deep the knife would
have to go to do it。
“Oh； no； Jake！ No； no no no；” I choked out in horror。 “No； Jake； no。 Please； no。” My knees began to
tremble。
“What’s the difference； Bella？ This will only make it more convenient for everyone。 You won’t even have
to move。”
“No！” My voice got louder。 “No； Jacob！ I won’t let you！”
“How will you stop me？” he taunted lightly； smiling to take the sting out of his tone。
“Jacob； I’m begging you。 Stay with me。” I would have fallen to my knees； if I could have moved at all。
“For fifteen minutes while I miss a good brawl？ So that you can run away from me as soon as you think
I’m safe again？ You’ve got to be kidding。”
“I won’t run away。 I’ve changed my mind。 We’ll work something out； Jacob。 There’s always a
promise。 Don’t go！”
“You’re lying。”
“I’m not。 You know what a terrible liar I am。 Look in my eyes。 I’ll stay if you do。”
His face hardened。 “And I can be your best man at the wedding？”
It was a moment before I could speak； and still the only answer I could give him was； “Please。”
“That’s what I thought；” he said； his face going calm again； but for the turbulent light in his eyes。
“I love you； Bella；” he murmured。
“I love you； Jacob；” I whispered brokenly。
He smiled。 “I know that better than you do。”
He turned to walk away。
“Anything；” I called after him in a strangled voice。 “Anything you want； Jacob。 Just don’t do this！”
He paused； turning slowly。
“I don’t really think you mean that。”
“Stay；” I begged。
He shook his head。 “No； I’m going。” He paused； as if deciding something。 “But I could leave it to fate。”
“What do you mean？” I choked out。
“I don’t have to do anything deliberate — I could just do my best for my pack and let what happens
happen。” He shrugged。 “If you could convince me you really did want me to e back — more than you
wanted to do the selfless thing。”
“How？” I asked。
“You could ask me；” he suggested。
“e back；” I whispered。 How could he doubt that I meant it？
He shook his head； smiling again。 “That’s not what I’m talking about。”
It took me a second to grasp what he was saying； and all the while he was looking at me with this superior
expression — so sure of my reaction。 As soon as the realization hit； though； I blurted out the words without
stopping to count the cost。
“Will you kiss me； Jacob？”
His eyes widened in surprise； then narrowed suspiciously。 “You’re bluffing。”
“Kiss me； Jacob。 Kiss me； and then e back。”
He hesitated in the shadow； warring with himself。 He halfturned again to the west； his torso twisting away
from me while his feet stayed planted where they were。 Still looking away； he took one uncertain step in my
direction； and then another。 He swung his face around to look at me； his eyes doubtful。
I stared back。 I had no idea what expression was on my face。
Jacob rocked back on his heels； and then lurched forward； closing the distance between us in three long
strides。
I knew he would take advantage of the situation。 I expected it。 I held very still — my