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the house before the hormones kick in。
〃Sounds like a good idea to me；〃 I agreed as I headed up the stairs。
〃'Night； honey；〃 he called after me。 No doubt he would be listening
carefully all evening； waiting for me to try to sneak out。
〃See you in the morning； Dad。〃 See you creeping into my room tonight at
midnight to check on me。
I worked to make my tread sound slow and tired as I walked up the stairs
to my room。 I shut the door loud enough for him to hear； and then
sprinted on my tiptoes to the window。 I threw it open and leaned out into
the night。 My eyes scanned the darkness； the imperable shadows of the
trees。
〃Edward？〃 I whispered； feeling pletely idiotic。
The quiet； laughing response came from behind me。 〃Yes？〃
I whirled； one hand flying to my throat in surprise。
He lay； smiling hugely； across my bed； his hands behind his head； his
feet dangling off the end； the picture of ease。
〃Oh！〃 I breathed； sinking unsteadily to the floor。
〃I'm sorry。〃 He pressed his lips together； trying to hide his amusement。
〃Just give me a minute to restart my heart。〃
He sat up slowly； so as not to startle me again。 Then he leaned forward
and reached out with his long arms to pick me up； gripping the tops of my
arms like I was a toddler。 He sat me on the bed beside him。
〃Why don't you sit with me；〃 he suggested； putting a cold hand on mine。
〃How's the heart？〃
〃You tell me — I'm sure you hear it better than I do。〃
I felt his quiet laughter shake the bed。
We sat there for a moment in silence； both listening to my heartbeat
slow。 I thought about having Edward in my room； with my father in the
house。
〃Can I have a minute to be human？〃 I asked。
〃Certainly。〃 He gestured with one hand that I should proceed。
〃Stay；〃 I said； trying to look severe。
〃Yes； ma'am。〃 And he made a show of being a statue on the edge of my
bed。
I hopped up； grabbing my pajamas from off the floor； my bag of toiletries
off the desk。 I left the light off and slipped out； closing the door。
I could hear the sound from the TV rising up the stairs。 I banged the
bathroom door loudly； so Charlie wouldn't e up to bother me。
I meant to hurry。 I brushed my teeth fiercely； trying to be thorough and
speedy； removing all traces of lasagna。 But the hot water of the shower
couldn't be rushed。 It unknotted the muscles in my back； calmed my pulse。
The familiar smell of my shampoo made me feel like I might be the same
person I had been this morning。 I tried not to think of Edward； sitting
in my room； waiting； because then I had to start all over with the
calming process。 Finally； I couldn't delay anymore。 I shut off the water；
toweling hastily； rushing again。 I pulled on my holey tshirt and gray
sweatpants。 Too late to regret not packing the Victoria's Secret silk
pajamas my mother got me two birthdays ago； which still had the tags on
them in a drawer somewhere back home。
I rubbed the towel through my hair again； and then yanked the brush
through it quickly。 I threw the towel in the hamper； flung my brush and
toothpaste into my bag。 Then I dashed down the stairs so Charlie could
see that I was in my pajamas； with wet hair。
〃'Night； Dad。〃
〃'Night； Bella。〃 He did look startled by my appearance。 Maybe that would
keep him from checking on me tonight。
I took the stairs two at a time； trying to be quiet； and flew into my
room； closing the door tightly behind me。
Edward hadn't moved a fraction of an inch； a carving of Adonis perched on
my faded quilt。 I smiled； and his lips twitched； the statue ing to
life。
His eyes appraised me； taking in the damp hair； the tattered shirt。 He
raised one eyebrow。 〃Nice。〃
I grimaced。
〃No； it looks good on you。〃
〃Thanks；〃 I whispered。 I went back to his side； sitting crosslegged
beside him。 I looked at the lines in the wooden floor。
〃What was all that for？〃
〃Charlie thinks I'm sneaking out。〃
〃Oh。〃 He contemplated that。 〃Why？〃 As if he couldn't know Charlie's mind
much more clearly than I could guess。
〃Apparently； I look a little overexcited。〃
He lifted my chin； examining my face。
〃You look very warm； actually。〃
He bent his face slowly to mine； laying his cool cheek against my skin。 I
held perfectly still。
〃Mmmmmm…〃 he breathed。
It was very difficult； while he was touching me； to frame a coherent
question。 It took me a minute of scattered concentration to begin。
〃It seems to be… much easier for you； now； to be close to me。〃
〃Does it seem that way to you？〃 he murmured； his nose gliding to the
corner of my jaw。 I felt his hand； lighter than a moth's wing； brushing
my damp hair back； so that his lips could touch the hollow beneath my ear。
〃Much； much easier；〃 I said； trying to exhale。
〃Hmm。〃
〃So I was wondering…〃 I began again； but his fingers were slowly tracing
my collarbone； and I lost my train of thought。
〃Yes？〃 he breathed。
〃Why is that；〃 my voice shook； embarrassing me； 〃do you think？〃
I felt the tremor of his breath on my neck as he laughed。 〃Mind over
matter。〃
I pulled back； as I moved； he froze — and I could no longer hear the
sound of his breathing。
We stared cautiously at each other for a moment； and then； as his
clenched jaw gradually relaxed； his expression became puzzled。
〃Did I do something wrong？〃
〃No — the opposite。 You're driving me crazy；〃 I explained。
He considered that briefly； and when he spoke； he sounded pleased。
〃Really？〃 A triumphant smile slowly lit his face。
〃Would you like a round of applause？〃 I asked sarcastically。
He grinned。
〃I'm just pleasantly surprised；〃 he clarified。 〃In the last hundred years
or so；〃 his voice was teasing； 〃I never imagined anything like this。 I
didn't believe I would ever find someone I wanted to be with… in another
way than my brothers and sisters。 And then to find； even though it's all
new to me； that I'm good at it… at being with you…〃
〃You're good at everything；〃 I pointed out。
He shrugged； allowing that； and we both laughed in whispers。
〃But how can it be so easy now？〃 I pressed。 〃This afternoon…〃
〃It's not easy；〃 he sighed。 〃But this afternoon； I was still… undecided。
I am sorry about that； it was unforgivable for me to behave so。〃
〃Not unforgivable；〃 I disagreed。
〃Thank you。〃 He smiled。 〃You see；〃 he continued； looking down now； 〃I
wasn't sure if I was strong enough…〃 He picked up one of my hands and
pressed it lightly to his face。 〃And while there was still that
possibility that I might be… overe〃 — he breathed in the scent at my
wrist — 〃I was… susceptible。 Until I made up my mind that I was strong
enough； that there was no possibility at all that I would… that I ever
could…〃
I'd never seen him struggle so hard for words。 It was so… human。
〃So there's no possibility now？〃
〃Mind over matter；〃 he repeated； smiling； his teeth bright even in the
darkness。
〃Wow； that was easy；〃 I said。
He threw back his head and laughed； quietly as a whisper； but still
exuberantly。
〃Easy for you！〃 he amended； touching my nose with his fingertip。
And then his face was abruptly serious。
〃I'm trying；〃 he whispered； his voice pained。 〃If it gets to be… too
much； I'm fairly sure I'll be able to leave。〃
I scowled。 I didn't like the talk of leaving。
〃And it will be harder tomorrow；〃 he continued。 〃I've had the scent of
you in my head all day； and I've grown amazingly desensitized。 If I'm
away from you for any length of time； I'll have to start over again。 Not
quite from scratch； though； I think。〃
〃Don't go away； then；〃 I responded； unable to hide the longing in my
voice。
〃That suits me；〃 he replied； his face relaxing into a gentle smile。
〃Bring on the shackles — I'm your prisoner。〃 But his long hands formed
manacles around my wrists as he spoke。 He laughed his quiet； musical
laugh。 He'd laughed more tonight than I'd ever heard in all the time I'd
spent with him。
〃You seem more… optimistic than usual；〃 I observed。 〃I haven't seen you
like this before。〃
〃Isn't it supposed to be like this？〃 He